Farmer wonders how he can keep paying for others’ mistakes

The Problem:

I am 65, and I’m lucky to be farming my own 800 acres. My parents had a terrible plan, and I had to fight for everything. Then their attorney screwed things up. Their financial guy screwed up, too, because they had some insurance that lapsed. My attorney and accountant don’t help me much. I go to all these workshops, but all they try to do is sell things. My wife does not agree with how I want to do things. My kids are frustrated we don’t have any planning done. I keep hearing about law changes that may happen, but no one knows what is going on with that either. Is there any hope? -- Submitted by email from T.J.

READ MORE: Columns from Myron Friesen

The Solution:

You have had some problems, and it seems like there have been people to blame, but that may be part of the problem. Consider attending a sporting event as a neutral spectator; at halftime move to a seat in the middle of the losing team’s side. Listen to the fans, and you’ll get a new perspective on people and life. The losing team always will have excuses. Sometimes it’s hard to believe what you hear. It will start with the terrible refs, then the other coach is a jerk, their student section is obnoxious, their parents are rude, and finally, that whole town is bad! You will wonder if all the comments are true, sad, or comical.

On your farm, you are surrounded by apparent struggles that started with your parents’ “terrible plan,” but they are gone, so it is time to move past blaming them. Now it is on you. I realize that all the things you mentioned could be a problem, but that can’t be an excuse for your current and future problems. Over the years I have seen many disasters, but life is often about dealing with adversity. Do people look for someone to blame, or do they find people who will help them rise up? I remember a college football coach of a winning team who took some heat for winning by “too much.” His response: “It is not my fault you are that bad. If you don’t like it, get better.”

READ MORE: Farm patriarch wonders if anyone in the next generation has what it takes to run the operation

Life, including agriculture, always has forks in the road. There will continue to be farmers who struggle and may fall by the wayside. Who will they blame? On the other hand, some farmers will thrive by carefully doing the right things, owning the decisions they make, and surrounding themselves with the right people.

So how do you get better?

Be a leader who other people want to be around.
Define your goals so other people understand what it is you are trying to accomplish.
Find advisers with personalities that match yours.
Be loyal but not blind.
Soul search. Is it possible that you are part of the problem?

Sometimes people see things differently: OPPORTUNITYISNOWHERE.

What do you see? Many people see “Opportunity is nowhere.” People often see the negative first and struggle to find opportunity. On the other hand, some people see “Opportunity is now here.” I believe there are opportunities ahead. I think you can solve many of your problems just by rearranging a few items and approaching things honestly and positively, while communicating your ideas clearly and surrounding yourself with optimistic people

Myron Friesen is co-owner of Farm Financial Strategies in Osage, Iowa. During the past 21 years, he has worked exclusively with farm families across the Midwest to develop farm transition strategies. Friesen grew up on a Mountain Lake, Minnesota, farm. He owns and operates a 1,070-acre crop and livestock farm with his wife and four children. farmestate.com